PAST “WORK” HISTORY:
- Newspaper flyer stuffer
- Clay pigeon button-pusher *see lowest career point below*
- Sitter of so many babies
- Record-holder for fastest alphabetical arranging of company pay stubs (Record not official but I was hella fast)
- order taker of many grande, long, 1/2 sweet, non-fat, no-whip, extra foam, extra hot, lattes.
- Analyst of Revenue (aka Revenue Assurance Analyst)
- Massage Therapist (You think I’m joking. I’m not.)
- Mother of the Bride tamer (aka Paper Stationer)
The lowest point in my working life may very well have been that time I had to vaseline the entirety of my pimple-prone teenaged skin in order to avoid gun powder burns while pushing a button to eject clay pigeon’s for various gun-wielding dudes. That said, that job paid cash under the table. So, I still count it as a win.
Highlights include that one time a gal and I became heroines of the week when we discovered $3 million dollars in un-billed revenue for a telecommunications company I worked for. Like a boss! Though I never was the boss, so…
I used to sit under fluorescent lights, 8 hours a day for 5 years. I made so many killer spreadsheets, filed so much paperwork, sat in so many meetings and drank so much coffee. I left there over a decade ago and I’m still trying to retrieve my soul.
When I was about 10, I wanted nothing more than to be a mother. Which I have now discovered, doesn’t pay super well.
I absolutely loathe spiders and have a strong distaste for most other insects. I have definitely chopped so many wasps out of the air with my bare hands. I don’t care what you say, running away whilst flailing from buzzing insects totally works. I’ve never been stung.
I love animals more than people but do have some friends that come close to being as awesome.
Most of my internet searches include “ ___________ replica DIY”. I love beautiful things but am far too cheap to pay for them. This has made me super handy. I have so many knockoff items in my home.
The one item I’d bring to survivor if I had the chance to play would be a giant bag of popcorn kernels. I already live off the stuff.
- Designer of websites
- Designer of logo identities
In that order.
Want to know more? Drop me a line!
Sometimes, I take pics of my cute family on Instagram.
Now taking bookings for 2018.