About Shannon

PAST “WORK” HISTORY:

  • Newspaper flyer stuffer
  • Clay pigeon button-pusher *see lowest career point below*
  • Sitter of so many babies
  • Record-holder for fastest alphabetical arranging of company pay stubs (Record not official but I was hella fast)
  • order taker of many grande, long, 1/2 sweet, non-fat, no-whip, extra foam, extra hot, lattes.
  • Analyst of Revenue (aka Revenue Assurance Analyst)
  • Massage Therapist (You think I’m joking. I’m not.)
  • Mother of the Bride tamer (aka Paper Stationer)
  • Mother

The lowest point in my working life may very well have been that time I had to vaseline the entirety of my pimple-prone teenaged skin in order to avoid gun powder burns while pushing a button to eject clay pigeon’s for various gun-wielding dudes.  That said, that job paid cash under the table.  So, I still count it as a win.

Highlights include that one time a gal and I became heroines of the week when we discovered $3 million dollars in un-billed revenue for a telecommunications company I worked for.  Like a boss!  Though I never was the boss, so…

I used to sit under fluorescent lights, 8 hours a day for 5 years.  I made so many killer spreadsheets, filed so much paperwork, sat in so many meetings and drank so much coffee.  I left there over a decade ago and I’m still trying to retrieve my soul.

When I was about 10, I wanted nothing more than to be a mother.  Which I have now discovered, doesn’t pay super well.

I absolutely loathe spiders and have a strong distaste for most other insects.  I have definitely chopped so many wasps out of the air with my bare hands.  I don’t care what you say, running away whilst flailing from buzzing insects totally works.  I’ve never been stung.

I love animals more than people but do have some friends that come close to being as awesome.

Most of my internet searches include “ ___________ replica DIY”.  I love beautiful things but am far too cheap to pay for them.  This has made me super handy.  I have so many knockoff items in my home.

The one item I’d bring to survivor if I had the chance to play would be a giant bag of popcorn kernels.  I already live off the stuff.

CURRENT WORK:

  • Mother
  • Wife
  • Designer of websites
  • Designer of logo identities

In that order.

Want to know more?  Drop me a line!

Sometimes, I take pics of my cute family on Instagram.

Now taking bookings for 2018.

Inquire here.